Mental Health Counseling and Therapy in Salt Lake City, Utah http://saltlakementalhealth.com Frank Clayton, Counselor and Therapist Fri, 03 Sep 2010 02:11:05 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0 Positive #1: Insulation http://saltlakementalhealth.com/positive-1-insulation http://saltlakementalhealth.com/positive-1-insulation#comments Fri, 03 Sep 2010 02:11:05 +0000 Frank Clayton http://saltlakementalhealth.com/?p=1660 Can you imagine how gas we have saved by having insulation in our homes? Gas prices would probably be completely out of control were it not for this simple and effective invention. While I am appreciating insulation, I feel that I would be remiss if I did not point out that modern day insulation is fire resistant! Again, ingenuity saves not only fuel but lives. I personally have used insulation in some pretty creative ways to turn an okay Halloween costume into a GREAT one! What unconventional ways have you used insulation? Please share – it will help us to appreciate it that much more.
~Frank

]]> http://saltlakementalhealth.com/positive-1-insulation/feed 0 Positive #5: “I want names” http://saltlakementalhealth.com/positive-5-i-want-names http://saltlakementalhealth.com/positive-5-i-want-names#comments Wed, 01 Sep 2010 06:54:47 +0000 Frank Clayton http://saltlakementalhealth.com/?p=1655 I went to see John Mayer tonight. He went off on a great riff (of the mouth variety, not on the guitar) about “haters”. He basically said that haters are faceless and perpetuated by the rumor mill. So, his advice was that when you hear that someone said something about you, ask for names. He said usually the culprit is the evasive and faceless “they”. John said that until “they” have a name, he is going to disregard it as static and go on believing that everyone loves him until he has some sort of proof to the contrary. I like it and I’m going to use it so I thought I’d pass it along to you/
~Frank

]]> http://saltlakementalhealth.com/positive-5-i-want-names/feed 0 Ten Reasons I’m Glad the Skydive was Cancelled http://saltlakementalhealth.com/ten-reasons-im-glad-the-skydive-was-cancelled http://saltlakementalhealth.com/ten-reasons-im-glad-the-skydive-was-cancelled#comments Sun, 29 Aug 2010 04:40:50 +0000 Frank Clayton http://saltlakementalhealth.com/?p=1646 I feel disappointed. We have been planning for the Happiness 101 skydive for months and it was cancelled today due to high winds. In her book, Positivity, Barbara Fredrickson stresses the importance of being GENUINELY happy. This means acknowledging how you really feel, not just glossing it over with a plastic smile. In fact, she offers research that proves that denying your true feelings can have profound detrimental effects on both the mind and the body. With the hope of making the jump a wonderful, festive experience, I had burned new CDs, packed a stereo, many chairs, two tables, the giant happy bubble, food and something to wash it down. Mother nature had other ideas. So, yes, I, the Happy Therapist felt disappointed. I sat with it. Soon, the feeling passed and opened up space in my heart and I began to ask myself why the cancellation might not only not be a bad thing, but might be a good thing. I was surprised how many reasons there were and how swiftly they came:

#1 Because some non-students had filled the 10am slot, we were scattered between the 9am and the 10am slot. Postponing would allow us to properly unite.

#2 Even being spread over the 9am and 10am slots, there were still more people who wanted to jump. They were told to come on down and Skydive Utah would do their best to squeeze everybody in. A reboot means that we will be able to get everyone into a legitimate slot.

#3 I know at least two people who had last minute conflicts arise and would not have been able to go today. Hopefully they will be able to come to the next jump.

#4 My friend should be able to come. I have recently made a good friend. He had a scheduling conflict and would not have been able to join us today. I hope he will come to cheer me on next time.

#5 Some people had a bit of trouble finding Skydive Utah. Because they drove there this morning, they now know exactly where it is for next time.

#6 Because of the aforementioned way the slots were being filled, I did not have a definitive head count. There was more than a couple of people who were going with the “hope they can squeeze me in” plan. This way, we will have a clear number of how many will be jumping. Because of the experience this morning, I know for sure we have at least seven people jumping and I believe we will end up with a total of ten.

#7 Logistics. Before this morning, I was not sure exactly where I was going to set up the canopy and where I would plug the stereo in. Phil, at Skydive Utah, was very hospitable, showed me around a little more (than I had seen before) and said he would lend us a 100 foot extension cord if needed to play our Happy music. I felt better and more assured of the layout when I left.

#8 I have said many times that the students are frequently my teachers. I was able to see in action how well the teachings of Happiness 101 have taken root by how the students responded to the news that we would not be jumping. When Phil told one student, she smiled cheerfully and said “It’s not your fault. You can’t control mother nature”. She was so gracious. Another student didn’t bat an eye before replying “Well at least I got in a beautiful drive”. Their positive reactions helped me to get over my own disappointment more quickly and inspired me to practice what I preach.

#9 I have learned a lot in organizing this event. I am glad I will have the opportunity to put what I have learned into practice, which I am sure will make the event run more smoothly and be more fun for everyone.

#10 Because the jump was postponed, we now have the luxury of comparing schedules to see if we can find a date and time that will work for everyone. What a blessing!

Speaking of which, if you plan on jumping, please E-mail me. Maybe that’s another good thing about being postponed – maybe it opened an opportunity for YOU to come with us.

~Frank
E-mail: frank@saltlakementalhealth.com

]]> http://saltlakementalhealth.com/ten-reasons-im-glad-the-skydive-was-cancelled/feed 0 Frank Clayton, Organizer “ Skydive cancelled due to high winds ” http://saltlakementalhealth.com/frank-clayton-organizer-%e2%80%9c%c2%a0skydive-cancelled-due-to-high-winds%c2%a0%e2%80%9d http://saltlakementalhealth.com/frank-clayton-organizer-%e2%80%9c%c2%a0skydive-cancelled-due-to-high-winds%c2%a0%e2%80%9d#comments Sat, 28 Aug 2010 15:19:54 +0000 Frank Clayton http://saltlakementalhealth.com/?p=1644 Frank Clayton, Organizer
“ Skydive cancelled due to high winds ”

]]> http://saltlakementalhealth.com/frank-clayton-organizer-%e2%80%9c%c2%a0skydive-cancelled-due-to-high-winds%c2%a0%e2%80%9d/feed 0 Positive #1: Dogs. http://saltlakementalhealth.com/positive-1-dogs http://saltlakementalhealth.com/positive-1-dogs#comments Fri, 27 Aug 2010 13:39:29 +0000 Frank Clayton http://saltlakementalhealth.com/?p=1636 Dogs. Four-legged unconditional love. During dark times, they are there at your side, comfort at the ready in ample doses. Miraculously, some therapy dogs have been able to connect with people when no one else could. They are soft and feel pleasant to the touch. They can make a good sleeping companion and provide warmth (“three dog night”). In times of play, they can help you to remember how to laugh and smile. Studies have also shown that someone who buys a dog is likely to get more exercise and be more motivated to do it than if they bought a gym membership. They come in many, many shapes and sizes, which is wonderful because people do too, which means there is a good fit out there for everyone. While I am on the subject, just wanted to remind you that there are always good dogs looking for good homes at the Humane Society of Utah.

]]> http://saltlakementalhealth.com/positive-1-dogs/feed 0 Positive #3: Never Lost a Client http://saltlakementalhealth.com/positive-3-never-lost-a-client http://saltlakementalhealth.com/positive-3-never-lost-a-client#comments Thu, 26 Aug 2010 03:41:13 +0000 Frank Clayton http://saltlakementalhealth.com/?p=1624 One of the greatest fears of a therapist is the notion of one day losing a client to suicide. I am no exception. Whenever someone takes their own life, nearly every person in that person’s life asks “Could I have done something to prevent it?” Even acquaintances ponder, “Maybe I should have tried to be friends with them”. Again, therapists are not immune to this phenomenon. We are, after all, human. Every soul with whom I have the privilege of walking with is important to me. The time spent together: sacred. I would be deeply saddened at such an event. So, today, I pause and give heart-felt thanks that none of my clients (past or present) have ever taken their own life.

]]> http://saltlakementalhealth.com/positive-3-never-lost-a-client/feed 0 Positive #5: The Physical Ability to Travel http://saltlakementalhealth.com/positive-5-the-physical-ability-to-travel http://saltlakementalhealth.com/positive-5-the-physical-ability-to-travel#comments Wed, 25 Aug 2010 04:21:08 +0000 Frank Clayton http://saltlakementalhealth.com/?p=1621 Frequently when people are asked what would they like to do if they had more time and money, they frequently respond: “Travel”. So imagine that it is neither time nor money that is restricting you from travel but it is your physical body. A good friend of mine had heart surgery just over one year ago. He could travel in a car but had to sit in a seat that did not have an airbag – which meant sitting in the back. And until recently he was not allowed to fly. Tomorrow he is getting on a big fat jet to travel to the other side of the country. Today, I pause and give thanks that I have the physical capability to travel.

]]> http://saltlakementalhealth.com/positive-5-the-physical-ability-to-travel/feed 0 Positive #3: Eat Pray Love http://saltlakementalhealth.com/positive-3-eat-pray-love http://saltlakementalhealth.com/positive-3-eat-pray-love#comments Sun, 22 Aug 2010 22:34:07 +0000 Frank Clayton http://saltlakementalhealth.com/?p=1615 Yes, I loved it. There were many great moments and messages in this movie. Please do not mistake it as a “chick flick”. It addresses big questions for all of use and what Thoreau called the feelings of “quiet desperation” many of us feel tugging at us on a daily basis. Eat Pray Love speaks to many of the concepts I talk about in Happiness 101, such as meditation, savoring the moment, the importance of social support, self-forgiveness and spirituality. One important point I would like to stress is that one does not need to divorce your spouse and travel the world to find Happiness. Like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz, in the end you find it just as close and accessible as your own heart.
~Frank

]]> http://saltlakementalhealth.com/positive-3-eat-pray-love/feed 0 Positive #3: Ruth’s Diner http://saltlakementalhealth.com/positive-3-ruths-diner http://saltlakementalhealth.com/positive-3-ruths-diner#comments Sun, 22 Aug 2010 05:48:04 +0000 Frank Clayton http://saltlakementalhealth.com/?p=1610 Okay, the only thing better than Ruth’s Diner, is Ruth’s Diner with great brunch conversation. I love the ambiance. It was a perfect weather day for Ruth’s. They have an extensive patio and often have live music (the Stoddard Brothers are rumored to be regulars there). Ruth’s even has nice shaded areas out front for waiting, but for a table of two there was no waiting at the moment. Sweet! I was very tempted to get the crab and avocado omelet again. It is SO good! But went with the breakfast burrito and was not disappointed. We talked about the Happiness 101 skydive next Saturday (August 28th), bungee jumping, great hiking spots and a new secret marketing device. Time flew, calories were consumed and new possibilities explored. I can’t think of a better cap to a great morning of hiking.
~Frank

]]> http://saltlakementalhealth.com/positive-3-ruths-diner/feed 0 Positive #5: Hiking With a Friend http://saltlakementalhealth.com/positive-5-hiking-with-a-friend http://saltlakementalhealth.com/positive-5-hiking-with-a-friend#comments Sat, 21 Aug 2010 03:37:14 +0000 Frank Clayton http://saltlakementalhealth.com/?p=1608 In the PBS special “This Emotional Life”, host Dan Gilbert said that IF there was one key to Happiness it would be social connection. This has been indicated not just by studies by by meta-analysis (which is a study of studies). In Sonja Lyubomirsky’s book, The How of Happiness she has “nurturing social relationships” as one of the Happiness Habits but also “social support” as one of the five HOWS of Happiness (you have a much better chance of succeeding in a lifestyle change if you have social support). In her book, Positivity, Barbara Fredrickson reports that studies have shown that spending time in nature can be one of the levers to raise positivity. So, I am excited about my opportunity to be firing on so many Happiness cylinders tomorrow as I go hiking tomorrow with a friend. It actually feels good right now just in looking forward to it – which I guess is employing another of Lyubomirsky’s Happiness Habits: Savoring Life’s Joys. That’s right – savoring can not only be savoring in the present moment but can also be relishing a memory from the past or envisioning good times in the future. See? There are many different ways to squeeze Happiness into your daily life.
~Frank

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