Cliff Notes from the Happy Sex Class

Using the principles from the Happiness 101 class in the bedroom

Happy loversI am a mental health therapist specializing in Happiness. Tonight I took the principles from the Happiness 101 class (Tuesdays 7pm) and discussed how they can be applied to life behind the bedroom door. If you missed the Happy Sex Class, here are a few notes of interest:

The relationship in the bedroom is often a reflection of the relationship outside the bedroom.
Communicate, communicate, communicate. Communication is key. If you want something (or something you do NOT want), find a way to talk about it. Use assertiveness (as opposed to aggressive, passive or passive aggressive)
If you are have trouble asking directly for what you want, you can stress the positive – say what you DO like.
If you experience guilt or shame in relation to sex, I suggest therapy.
Know yourself. Know what you like sexually and what you don’t.
Identify and honor your sexual boundaries
Do not compromise your values

Work to be happy with what you have (Myth of happiness “I’ll be happy WHEN”)
Use language that your partner finds appealing in initiating sex and when referring to sex or sexual organs.
Know your partner – what they like and what they don’t like. What are their boundaries?

Variety is the spice of a good sex life. There is a great deal of variety to be found if you are looking for it. Again, don’t do anything that is against your values.

There is a great article: Sex Secrets of Really Happy Couples

If you have any questions, feel free to leave a comment or question here or E-mail me at

Frank Clayton
Licensed Professional Counselor

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