I think I have shared with you that I have been sculpting my life. This means that I am looking at all aspects of my life and deciding if it is the way I want it to be. One of the dynamics I discovered about myself is the ostrich approach to problem solving. If I had some level of skill in a given area, I would deal with it head-on. But if it was an area that was too scary or that I was not proficient in, I would do my ostrich thing. As you might imagine, this does not work very well and the given issue usually comes back to bite me. In the last 60 days I have been doing something different. I listed all of the things to which I have used the ostrich approach. This was very uncomfortable by the way. I then set about taking a hard look at each issue. I asked for advice from people I trust, made a plan and have been moving forward every week on each of these uncomfortable fronts. It has felt very empowering to deal with things on my terms (even though it has been challenging) rather than waiting for them to deal with me. One of the most challenging has been getting my finances in order. I am a therapist, not a book keeper. It is not my forte and so I have been reluctant to deal with it. As part of my plan, I brought in people who ARE proficient in this area. Today we took a giant leap forward in taming the finances (or what I affectionately refer to as “The Mother of All Messes”). I expect by week’s end I will be ready to make the appointment with the accountant. Again, this step is very scary for me but still feels (overall) better and more empowering than doing the ostrich thing.
Essentially what I have done, is used the same formula that I give students in Happiness 101:
#1 Become mindful (I realized I was doing the ostrich thing)
#2 Decide if it is making you more or less happy (just for the record: less)
#3 Brainstorm (I did this extensively within myself AND solicited advice from other smart people)
#4 Decide on a course of action (hire a book keeper)
#5 Do it (hired a book keeper)
#6 Evaluate (I haven’t done this because the project has not been finalized, but so far so good)
I encourage you to follow these same steps in issues large and small to make your life Happier.
~Frank Clayton, Licensed Professional Counselor
I share positives on YouTube too. It’s a great place to post positives because they have so many inspirational and uplifting videos. In fact, I have posted one hour’s worth of video which encapsulates much of the pertinent information I teach in (the free class), Happiness 101 Click here to go to the videos or Click here to find out more about the benefits of posting positives.